自從開始教授崇拜學之後，因為「教然後知困」，所以也就嘗試藉由閱讀經典，期望為自己的教學和禮儀實踐帶來更新與突破。而Romano Guardini的這本The Spirit of the Liturgy就成了首發。
一如胤安所給予的提醒：「僵硬派禮儀」，透過閱讀這本將近百年前（原版出版於1918年）的輕薄（才57頁）著作，才更加明白自己僵硬的原因，甚至可稱為殭屍派禮儀的癥結。首先被提醒的盲點是「為求精準的過度控制」，正如Guardini在書中所言：「禮儀是情緒，但是控制下的情緒」( The liturgy is emotion, but it is emotion under control. )而我的禮儀實踐卻是為求精準的過度控制，使得禮儀失去了應有的情緒。究其原因，正如以下這段引文所指出的—自我規範和自滿(self-rule and self-sufficiency)作祟。換句話說，忠於禮儀精神但又謙卑，不以自身所企求之「精準」（自以為的精準）為目的，正是我所需要的反省。
The requirements of the liturgy can be summed up in one word, humility. Humility by renunciation; that is to say, by the abdication of self-rule and self-sufficiency. And humility by positive action; that is to say, by the acceptance of the spiritual principle which the liturgy offers and which far transcend the little world of individual spiritual existence.
The liturgy wishes to teach, but not by means of an artificial system of aim-conscious educational influences; it is simply creates an entire spiritual world in which the soul can live according to the requirements of its nature.
In the liturgy man is no longer concerned with himself; his gaze is directed towards God. In it man is not so much intended to edify himself as to contemplate God's majesty. The liturgy means that the soul exists in God's presence, originates in Him, lives in a world of divine realities, truths, mysteries and symbols, and really lives its true, characteristic and fruitful life.
Liturgy has one thing in common with the play of the child and the life of art -- it has no purpose, but it is full of profound meaning. It is not work, but play. To be at play, or to fashion a work of art in God's sight -- not to create, but to exist -- such is the essence of the liturgy.
而這正是我所欠缺的「童心」，使得禮儀實踐變得「世故」乃至於「殭屍化」。「 我實在告訴你們，凡要承受神國的，若不像小孩子，斷不能進去。 」（可10:15）而如何能擺脫殭屍派禮儀呢？我想這唯獨倚賴上主的「呼召」(call)，正如祂從無召／造有，也正如主耶穌將拉撒路從墳墓中「呼召」出來。求上主憐憫祂無能為力的僕人，靠祂的恩典與憐憫，脫離這令人難受的殭屍派禮儀。XDD